Maybe Dad and I finally figured out this Courtship thing

Application to Date MY DAUGHTER
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage and medical report from your doctor.
Name: _________________________________________Nickname/ Alias________________________
Date Of Birth: _______/_______/_______ height: _________Weight: ________ I.Q.: ____________
G.P.A.: _____________ Soc. Sec. # ________-__________- ________
Drivers License #_____________________________
Boy Scout Rank: ___________________Good Standing: Yes _______No________
Home Address___________________________________
City/ State/ Zip ___________________________________
Home Phone #: (______)______________ Car Phone #: ___________________ Pager # ______________
Do you own
Van? _______
Truck with oversized tires? ________
Car with a truck full of speakers? ______
Do you have any of the following:
An earring _______
Nose ring ________
Belly button ring ______
or piercings on any other body parts _______
Explain: ______________________________________________________________________
Tattoo? ______________
(If you answered YES to any of the above questions. Discontinue and leave the premises immediately.)
In 30 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________________________________

In 30 words or less, what does "DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________________________________
Church you attend _______________________ How often__________________________________
Best time to interview you pastor? _________________________________
Fill In The Blank. Please answer freely, all answers will be confidential.
If I were beaten, the last bone I want to be broken is:
________________________________________________________________________________
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me is:
_________________________________________________________________________________
Now answer the question you filled in on B.
__________________________________________________________________________________
NOTE: If you have answered any of the previous questions dishonestly (and I will find out), discontinue application. It is advised that you leave the premises quickly keeping you head low and running in serpentine fashion.
I swear that all information provided above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, electrocution, and /or hot pokers.
_______________________________
Signature (This means sign you name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4-6 YEARS for processing. If you application is approved, you will be contacted in writing. Please do not call or write, this could cause you unexpected injury.
If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two men wearing white ties and answering to the names of GUIDO and LOUIE.

Hi Everybody who still reads blogs:
Hope everybody is well. It's been a long time since I last posted. I've been busy. Well just wanted to say hey before my computer hogging family gets back home.

Tuesday:
I had alot of fun on the campout girls. Tuesday morning I woke up with my face itching. I went and looked in the mirror. It made me jump. I was obviously having a reaction to something. The right side of my face was red and my eye was swollen. To the couch,drink some Benadryl, lay down. I slept pretty much the entire morning. I finally realized when I woke up that it was poison ivy. Drink some more bendryl, eat and sleep, for tomorrow hopefully it will be better. I am not going to work tomorrow for I am now behind in school and I would probably scare the animals as well as their owners.


Wednesday: My poison ivy had not gotten any better. I was not a very happy person because I had to miss going in to work. So I decided if it was not better by Thursday I would go to the doctor.I had been putting hydrocortozone on and it had been giving me some relief. I was totally fed up with sleeping all day an effect caused by the benadryl.

Thursday: I got up and put cortozone on my face. Come to find out I started having a reaction to it. So I went to the doctor today and got some medicine. It is already looking much improved. Hopefully I will be back to normal and not looking so puffy faced by this weekend.

Caleb is acting like I have the plague. Ya'll know what, he told me I looked like? The duds who serve Imhotep off the movie " The Mummy". What a loving and caring brother I have.

My first day at the vet clinic was very interesting. I went in around 12:30. I told the receptionist I was there to work so she told me to go on back to the surgery. I went back to the surgery and walked in. Dr. Steven was working with a visiting doctor and a tech. They were removing a tumor in a boxer’s spleen. I was doing fine during the operation. They were cutting the spleen out I think and then they were starting to clean and stitch. There was blood draining off the table but I was doing fine. Then they started stripping off gloves and surgery clothes and that was all I could stomach I started blacking out. My knees were giving way and I thought I was going to puke. The Doc walked by and looked at me and said Joy you look a little white. I said I think I am going to be sick. He laughed and said don’t faint on me. So He got me a chair. I just sat there for a little while. The visiting Doc was laughing and walked by, said you’ll get use to it.
I little later Doc, his tech and myself went on a call to this house to do 17 coggins test on horses and 4 colt vaccinations.
It was great I really liked it. Except I did not like the part were I started blacking out

Joy

I just had to post this because it made me laugh.

O Lord, hear my anxious plea. Algerbra is killing me. I know not of 'x' or 'y', and probably won't until the day I die. Please,Lord, help me at this hour As I take my case to the highest power. I care not for fame nor loot, just help me find one square root.

Latin and grammer are also trouble. guide me through this daily double. And, Lord, please let me see One passing mark in Chemistry.

Lord, why am I such a dope in school? My teachers think I'm such a fool. One said, 'Son you're a horrid flop. You bent the saw and failed at shop.' My days in class are filled with remorse. I can't even pass the easiest course. I hunkered down and bowed my neck, But I burnt the cake and flagged Home Ec.

In English Lit, I studied hard,and read all the words of the Bard. But my mind is like a hateful Judas. It couldn't recall, 'et tu Brutus?'

Lord, will there ever be A toughter subject than History? Into the past I steadfastly delve, From Plymouth Rock to 1812. I learn of all those patriotic folk, From John Q. Adams to James K.Polk.
But test times come and I fall on my tail. Was it Patrick Henry or Nathan Hale?

Lord, must I offer an opology For three times failing Biology? Why is it I'm in such a fog concerning the innards of a frog? I push and strive and strain and grope To come to terms with the microscope. Lord, please forgive my derision, But who gives a hoot for cellular division?

Lord, I wish that I could vanish When the teacher calls on me in Spanish. And I promise, it's a cinch, I'll never learn a word of French.

Down in gym I take P.E Calisthenics will be the death of me. I have all the grace of a mop. I made an 'F' in side strattle hop.

Lord, is there anything I can’t flub? Will I ever be in Beta Club?

I have never found the key to knowledge, And my folks want me to go to college. Oh, such a thing I constanly dread. I’d as soon join the Marines instead. Lord, please give me a sign , that you’ve been listening all this time. If you will help, I’ll gice my all, And won’t even chew gum in study hall. Please lead me out of this constant coma, And give me a chance at my diploma. Let others fight about church and state. I pray only to graduate. Amen.

By Lewis Grizzard

Guess
What movie and book is this line from.

"Vanity working on a weak mind, produces every sort of mischief."

Hey
Not much is going on right now, just school ect.
I am taking care of my grandparents' chores for a week, which are feeding the dogs, checking the electric fence lines(I keep reminding myself that there is 110 volt of electricity running through those lines), feeding the 2 bulls that we are feeding out for hamburger(I really don't have a problem with not getting attached to the bulls. So I decided that I would go ahead and name them. Their names our Hamburger and T-bone) . I enjoy riding the 4wheeler in the morning. It wakes me up before I have to go start school. Well, I guess I need to go. I guess I will see some of you at Teen Night.