Monday, March 26, 2007

Maybe Dad and I finally figured out this Courtship thing


Application to Date MY DAUGHTER
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage and medical report from your doctor.
Name: _________________________________________Nickname/ Alias________________________
Date Of Birth: _______/_______/_______ height: _________Weight: ________ I.Q.: ____________
G.P.A.: _____________ Soc. Sec. # ________-__________- ________
Drivers License #_____________________________
Boy Scout Rank: ___________________Good Standing: Yes _______No________
Home Address___________________________________
City/ State/ Zip ___________________________________
Home Phone #: (______)______________ Car Phone #: ___________________ Pager # ______________
Do you own
Van? _______
Truck with oversized tires? ________
Car with a truck full of speakers? ______
Do you have any of the following:
An earring _______
Nose ring ________
Belly button ring ______
or piercings on any other body parts _______
Explain: ______________________________________________________________________
Tattoo? ______________
(If you answered YES to any of the above questions. Discontinue and leave the premises immediately.)
In 30 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________________________________

In 30 words or less, what does "DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________________________________
Church you attend _______________________ How often__________________________________
Best time to interview you pastor? _________________________________
Fill In The Blank. Please answer freely, all answers will be confidential.
If I were beaten, the last bone I want to be broken is:
________________________________________________________________________________
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me is:
_________________________________________________________________________________
Now answer the question you filled in on B.
__________________________________________________________________________________
NOTE: If you have answered any of the previous questions dishonestly (and I will find out), discontinue application. It is advised that you leave the premises quickly keeping you head low and running in serpentine fashion.
I swear that all information provided above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, electrocution, and /or hot pokers.
_______________________________
Signature (This means sign you name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4-6 YEARS for processing. If you application is approved, you will be contacted in writing. Please do not call or write, this could cause you unexpected injury.
If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two men wearing white ties and answering to the names of GUIDO and LOUIE.